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November 18, 2005
Butch V. Tommy - Week 12
It seems like it took forever to arrive but it is finally here. The week when everything that is wrong in the world is suddenly as it should be. Oh, you thought this was about rivalry week? No, no, silly rabbit. This is about Butch clinching no worse than a season prognosticating tie with Tommy and probably a victory after you see Tommy's picks this week - the victory Butch should have had last year in the regular season after Tommy covered his eyes in November, went "eenie meenie miney moe" and pulled out a tie. This year, Butch has a five-game lead with seven games remaining and, unless Tommy foolishly picks against his boys again, it is all but over except Tommy's shouting about how hard it is to pick Pac-10 games [although Butch did not seem to have any problems staying above the gutter]. Let's see what salads of prognostication are being tossed this week...
Tommy: Ouch! Tommy drags his leg as he limps to the finish line. If Tommy's team wasn't two wins from yet another national title game, he might have to jump off a bridge. Stanford in the top half? Arizona beating undefeated UCLA, then losing to 1-8 UW? Cats chasing dogs? Pigs flying? Yikes. Thank God this year is almost over.
Butch: In Butch's kitchen, next to the colander, is a large knife. Stay away from it, Tommy! - because it is one of those fancy knives that cuts both ways - you picked Arizona to cover against UCLA, remember?
WSU (-3) at Washington
Tommy: Aw, the Crapple Cup. The biggest game of the season. The battle for the cellar. Butch has been waiting for this one all year. The only question: how big of a lead will the Cougs blow? Ty's Juggernaut-30, Cougin' It-24.
Butch: Actually, the Seattle game Butch was waiting for all year was the Grambling game so he could learn a few new dance moves from the Grambling band to put to use while dancing on Tommy's prognosticating grave after this week. The Cougars already won the Space Needle, now they are going for Mt. Rainier and Starbucks. Will any of this mean a victory on the football field though? Butch does not know but he picks Wazzu to win and cover and end this year's close loss curse like they ended last year's Apple Cup curse.
Oregon State at Oregon (-13)
Tommy: Don't get me wrong. The Beavs aren't winning this game. They stunk with Matt Moore, and they won't exactly light up the sky without him. Still, the Duckies have covered only four times in the last 17 against their furry friends, and 13 points is a pretty rich line. San Diego, Here We Come-20, Corvallis, Here We Come-13.
Butch: Tommy got lucky with the Rodentry last week as Moore went down and saved his pick in that game. No such luck this week - Mike Bellotti brings out his 50-21 sledgehammer, and the Highlighters and their 12-quarterback system crushes the Rodents. Butch takes Oregon to win and cover.
California (-3.5) at Stanford
Tommy: Time for another pig to fly. The Bears have beaten the spread in only two games this year. The Trees, meanwhile, are 7-1. The Bears may have a better chance if they let Oski go behind center. Tedford's not going to look as smart now that "Buddy-ball" isn't on the sideline across from him. Don't look now, I'm picking the Cardinal to win. Yay, We're Back To Mediocrity-24, Boo, We're Back To Mediocrity-21.
Butch: So Cal's no good again this week, eh, Tommy? Butch sure wishes Tommy would make up his mind on that. Hey - here's a newsflash - the Bears are going to run the ball! Butch thinks even those ultra smart Trees can figure that one out. Butch is not exactly going out on a limb here - he takes the Trees to win and cover.
Fresno State at USC (-24)
Tommy: Well, at least some things haven't changed. The Trojans kick everyone's butt in November. And that's supposed to change against a squad that has beaten two winning teams all season? Uh, no? Defending Champs-56, Pretenders - 17.
Butch: Well, well, well [Butch gets to use three "well's to Tommy's one to signify his lead in the contest] Look who is back in the USC camp this week. Not suffering any abandonment issues are you, Tommy? The problem with Fresno State - except for the obvious ones like Pat Hill and their fans - is that they are not a Pac-10 team and therefore, not familiar with the spanking they are about to receive. Butch takes Tommy's boys of Troy to spank and cover. Nice to have you back, Tommy - don't forget to genuflect three times at King Pete's altar.
Last Week: 2-3
Last Week: 3-2
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