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December 24, 2007
The Telepathic Tabernacle Bowl Game Extravaganza - Week Two
Six bowl games are in the books and already it's evident those books should be burned. The Telepathic Tabernacle has been noted for their keen judgment and ability to see through the haze of college football's bowl season - but that was back in 1999 when the mind was sharp and the knee was not trick. Now there are 32 bowl games and darned if the TeleTab can keep them all straight with Whozit State playing Whatzit Tech in the Thingamabobby Bowl. But that is no excuse for mediocrity. No, "the dog ate the homework" should do nicely there. The fact of the matter is that there is no way a Sun Belt team wins a bowl game and yet, there it was last week when Florida Atlantic was doing some nasty things to Memphis. Then there are Nevada and UCLA - the Tab doesn't even want to go there - that was beyond nasty in both cases. But this is Week Two and although Week One was not spectacular, at least the Tab is above the equator. Welcome to Week Two of the Tab's 2007 Holiday Bowl Game Extravaganza.
"Ted Nugent" Motor City Bowl
Central Michigan [8-5] v. Purdue [7-5]
Line: Purdue by 4
Straight Up - Purdue
Against The Spread - Purdue
Tab Sez: Exhibit 2 in the case against too many bowl games - another rematch. Purdue clocked the Chippewas the first time these two teams met and the only thing different this time will be the location and the pre-game buffet.
Arizona State [10-2] v. Texas [9-3]
Straight Up - Texas
Against The Spread - Texas
Tab Sez: Arizona State used an eight-game home schedule to manipulate their 10-win season and that is about to get exposed in San Diego by a bunch of rootin'-tootin' Longhorns.
Boston College [10-3] v. Michigan State [7-5]
Line: Boston College by 3
Straight Up - Boston College
Against The Spread - BC
Tab Sez: BC has a nice bowl winning streak going and Michigan State plays in that lamentable Big 11 conference - no more discussion necessary.
TCU [7-5] v. Houston [8-4]
Line: TCU by 3
Straight Up - TCU
Against The Spread - TCU
Tab Sez: The Horny Toads are not very impressive and neither are the fake Cougars, but a team with a reasonably good defense always beats a team with a not-as-reasonably-good defense.
Maryland [6-6] v. Oregon State [8-4]
Line: Oregon State by 3.5
Straight Up - Oregon State
Against The Spread - OSU
Tab Sez: The Fightin' Crab Cakes bring their shiny 6-6 record all the way to the West coast for everyone to see. See, isn't it shiny? It comes with a factory warranty too - which is scheduled to run out at about 5:30 on the 28th.
Meineke "Lube Job" Bowl
Connecticut [9-3] v. Wake Forest [8-4]
Line: Wake Forest by 5.5
Straight Up - Wake Forest
Against The Spread - UConn
Tab Sez: The Tab sees this as two closely matched teams clawing tooth and nail for the right to free oil changes for life - who wants it more?
Central Florida [10-3] v. Mississippi State [7-5]
Line: Mississippi State by 1.5
Straight Up - Central Florida
Against The Spread - UCF
Tab Sez: How Mississippi State originally got tabbed as a 1.5-point favorite is truly a miracle on 34th Street. It has switched to UCF now, but too late, the Tab already took that original gift that Vegas put under the holiday bowl tree.
Penn State [8-4] v. Texas A&M [7-5]
Line: Penn State by 4
Straight Up - Penn State
Against The Spread - PSU
Tab Sez: The Nitts and their 436-year-old head coach do well in bowl games historically [22-10-1 under the old geezer] and recently [they have won four of their last five].
Independence "Holiday Fruitcake" Bowl
Alabama [6-6] v. Colorado [6-6]
Line: Alabama by 3.5
Straight Up - Colorado
Against The Spread - Colorado
Tab Sez: The poster child of why there are too many bowl games - the loser of this bowl is guaranteed to be a loser - no kidding, it's really the Loser Bowl! The Tab takes Colorado to be less of a loser.
Bell "Armed Weapon" Bowl
California [6-6] v. Air Force [9-3]
Line: California by 5.5
Straight Up - Air Force
Against The Spread - AFA
Tab Sez: You better not pout, you better not cry, the Tab is tellin' you why - because Cal - quite understandably - does not want to be here and Santa is certainly not comin' to town for them.
Georgia Tech [7-5] v. Fresno State [8-4]
Line: Georgia Tech by 1.5
Straight Up - Georgia Tech
Against The Spread - GTech
Tab Sez: This bowl game is called humanitarian!? The Tab thinks not.
South Florida [9-3] v. Oregon [8-4]
Line: South Florida by 4.5
Straight Up - South Florida
Against The Spread - USF
Tab Sez: Even if the Nikes had Dennis Dixon, this game would have been tough for them. But hey - look at those uniforms or logo or something similarly distracting.
Music City Bowl
Florida State [6-6] v. Kentucky [9-3]
Line: Kentucky by 3
Straight Up - Kentucky
Against The Spread - Kentucky
Tab Sez: Ken-Yucky was already going to be favored in this game but our puzzlers were sore trying to think how those upstanding Seminoles figured they were going to get away with anything on the internet. Cheaters never prosper.
Chick fil-A "The Bowl Formerly Known as Peach" Bowl
Clemson [9-3] v. Auburn [8-4]
Line: Clemson by 1.5
Straight Up - Clemson
Against The Spread - Clemson
Tab Sez: Finally! The first bowl game we remotely care about in over a week. No, not really - ha ha - fooled ya! - and it's not even April 1st!
Indiana [7-5] v. Oklahoma State [6-6]
Line: Oklahoma State by 5.5
Straight Up - Indiana
Against The Spread - Indy
Tab Sez: Even 40-year-old men know enough to take the Hoosiers in this one.
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