The first loss of any Michigan football season always brings about the sensation, for fans, of getting a five-gallon bucket of ice water dumped on their heads.
When Michigan State gets involved, it’s more like ice-cold sewage.
But life goes on, if not quite as fragrantly for a while. The 2017 Wolverines are not going to be what they were never going to be anyway.
Wait, what? That’s right. This wasn’t an undefeated team in the making. It wasn’t a College Football Playoff contender. It wasn’t a team looking to roll unscathed through the Big Ten, or even the East Division thereof.
Everyone acknowledged it nationally, and all but the most dewey-eyed dreamers did so locally. Michigan simply lost too much personnel off a should-have-been playoff squad to not feel the bite of a rebuilding year.
Michigan fans just didn’t want to feel it this soon, in this game. And frankly, they didn’t have to. But it was coming, as sure as a 15-handicapper is going to make double bogey along the way.
There are a million woulda, coulda, shouldas surrounding the Wolverines’ rain-soaked misery versus the Spartans. Five turnovers? That’s the biggest gift to an MSU squad since Spartan Bob offered up the one-fingered time discount in 2001, while simultaneously extending another finger to Michigan.
A second-half scene right out of The Perfect Storm? Makes for a good movie, but George Clooney didn’t come out with the Paul Bunyan Trophy, either.
You want to win a game when the “M” suddenly stands for monsoon? Don’t whiff on first-half chances, while the radar is screaming for urgency.
“It’s just sloppy,” fifth-year senior center Pat Kugler ruminated on Monday. “We played a sloppy game. Everyone can see that.”
It wasn’t the first time this year that Michigan’s offense scrambled to find itself. It’s just the first time the Wolverines paid the ultimate football price for too many gaffes.
Continuity hasn’t been Michigan’s best friend on the offensive side of the ball. The starting quarterback: gone, on a Purdue cheap shot. The best wide receiver: sayonara, with a fractured foot. A reconstituted right side of the offensive line: still trying to sort it all out.
Even the coaching hasn’t stayed the same. Quarterbacks coach/receivers coach/passing game coordinator Jedd Fisch bolts for UCLA, and Pep Hamilton comes in. Hamilton is a pro, having worked with Jim Harbaugh in college and as an NFL assistant. But it’s another change, and the mix of offensive coordinator Tim Drevno, Hamilton and Harbaugh — who has the final word on play calls — is seeking what the Wolverines do well.
That’s no simple task, when you’re tied for 115th out of 129 teams in allowing the fewest tackles for loss per game (7.6 average) nationally.
As well as Michigan weathered the personnel changeover storm on defense (presently No. 1 in the country in total defense), it’s sprung some leaks on offense. Its 27.2 points per game — defense and special teams aided, no less — stands tied for No. 80 nationally.
Kugler boiled it down succinctly.
“I don’t like Michigan State at all,” he said. “We lost to them. We shouldn’t have lost to them, and we did. It’s on to the next game. We’ve still got all of our goals in front of us.
“There can’t be any more errors. We’ve got to win out. It’s plain and simple.”
It might be plain. But it’s not that simple, barring a major upgrade by the points producers. The eye test says it won’t happen.
Harbaugh absorbed his first real taste of grumbling since his arrival back in Ann Arbor during his Monday press conference. He heard about play calling and his 1-4 record against Michigan State and Ohio State, proving combative on both topics.
“The record is what the record is,” he said. “I’m well aware of what the record is. Against Michigan State and Ohio State, we’re 1-4. The record against all other opponents is 23-3. We know what the records are.
“We want to win those games. We want to win every game we play. We want to win them all. Most importantly, we want to win this one — our next game.”
For now, that’s all there is. The rivalry games will even out, Michigan getting back to even footing with Ohio State and controlling MSU, when the gifts cease.
But at the moment, Michigan has to survive as best possible the year that always figured to be the toughest, roster-wise, of Harbaugh’s tenure. It doesn’t get easier in a back-loaded schedule.
A cold smack is one thing. A sustained shower can, and must, be avoided.
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