Everything Juwan Howard said during first availability back from suspension

Just want to say, first of all, thank you guys for coming. I know I haven’t seen you guys in a long time. But I am extremely happy about being back here. Today was a wonderful day to get an opportunity to coach my team, who I missed so much in these past two weeks. But before I begin, just want to give a shout-out to our coaches. Coach Phil Martelli, Saddi Washington, Howard Eisley, and all the support staff, too. Jay Smith, Chris Hunter, Jaaron Simmons, Colin, everyone, and I can’t forget our managers, too. Our managers did a fantastic job those two weeks, making sure our guys were prepared, serving in a lot of ways. I was just excited to see everyone joining together, all hands on deck. With that, I touched on it earlier, how excited I am to be back in Crisler, but let’s talk about why you guys are here and why I’m here, that’s the real thing. The reason why we’re all here is because of the postgame events at Wisconsin. And so, with that, I could come with 1,000 excuses, but I’m not. I take full ownership of my actions. And I could talk about the timeout, we could discuss the pulled arm, we could talk about the words that were exchanged with coaches, but all that would be excuses. The main thing is that was not the right way I should carry myself as the head coach at a fine institution like the University of Michigan. I was truly upset with myself during those two weeks, I did some soul searching as to how I could improve. When I talk about the team being 1% better, that applies to me, too. So, during those two weeks, I got a chance to do some soul searching, to evaluate how I can get better. And during that time, I reflected on the moment at Wisconsin as well how I could be better as a head coach here, better as a person and better as a coach. So, let’s talk about the person. I went out and I sought therapy. This wasn’t the first time and it won’t be the last time. Because I want to be a better person. I want to be a better coach and I felt that that was the right thing to do to help improve as a person. Because I talk about it with you guys as our mission ‘1% better,' that’s my 1% and I got a chance to really evaluate and see areas that I can improve on. And that’s not just because of now, but that’s gonna be for the future as well because I enjoy being here and I enjoy being the leader of this program and I also enjoy being a leader and also a good leader for our players and staff. I had a setback. In that moment, I was not. And I take full responsibility and I’m sorry. I hurt a lot of people. I hurt my family, I hurt my players and their families, I hurt my staff, I hurt the Michigan family, the Michigan alumni base, there were a lot of people I hurt during that moment and are still hurting. But, most importantly, I want to take time to apologize again, I want to apologize to the assistant coach at Wisconsin, Joe Krabbenhoft, because he deserves an apology. And hopefully, someday in person, I get an opportunity to walk up to that man and apologize to him, look him in the eye and look him in the face and let him know that I am sorry. And that doesn’t mean I won’t do the same with Greg Gard and others. I will continue to grow, I’m not going to be perfect. It’s going to be a big microscope on me every time that I coach. What are my emotions like, how am I communicating with my players? I will tell you this: I know I’m not a perfect person, and with the mistake that I made I will try to improve. But there was growth and I’ve learned throughout the process, and I will continue to keep learning. So, I thank you guys for being here today but know this: I am not a perfect person.

On when he knew he made a mistake

I care, I have a heart, and I knew when I got back on the bus that I was upset with how I conducted myself in that moment in the press conference. For what I said wasn’t from the heart. As you know, the next day, after reflecting and thinking about it, that statement that I made came from the heart and that’s what I meant to say, and I apologize for my actions.

On whether he has reached out to the Wisconsin coaches

No, I have not and the plan is to do that when the season is over when there’s time because I know they are involved in a season as well. I would rather do it in person than on the phone.

On whether there were any stipulations during his suspension

Five-game suspension, as well as the fine from the Big Ten.

On what he learned about himself during the suspension

How I can become the best version of myself, being able to get 1% better. That’s what I learned a lot about myself and I’m an extremely competitive person.

On whether the events will impact him during games

No, I’ll be dialed into making sure I’m preparing my players, staff, so we can go out there and compete. I’m not going to focus on the prediction or assumption here. Dialed into the competition and the preparation.

On what it was like watching the team

It’s been tough. Like I said earlier, I take full responsibility, make no excuses, but I got a chance to really learn and take a step back about the team, about the staff, and about how I can be a better coach moving forward.

On how he watched the games

I watched at home, and I always have my same spot: I sit there in my office, at my desk, I put on my same clothes because I’m wired that way, I’m superstitious. It’s always gotta be Michigan gear from head to toe. Also, during the time watching on TV, I get a chance to rewind and watch and see and take notes on some areas of teaching moments for our players and staff. Then, as we get an opportunity now, as you know I’m very excited about, is the Big Ten Tournament, preparing how we can be a better team moving forward as we work extremely hard to get this Big Ten title.

On whether he was watching as a coach or a fan

Both, both. I’m always going to be a fan. I’m going to be a fan as I’m coaching. I’m one of the biggest cheerleaders there is of our team, I just don’t have on the gear.

On conversations he's had with Warde Manuel

Our conversations have been strong, have been great, and has all been about learning. I really appreciate Warde and how he’s supported me and how he’s helped me through this process. He’s one of the mentors, big brothers, advisors that I’ve leaned on.

On why he met with players individually instead of as a team

I love talking to people face-to-face than on the phone or by Zoom. I also wanted to talk to them individually to see how we could, together, because it’s a partnership, on embarking on something I know all of us are trying to achieve, and that’s a Big Ten title and an NCAA title if we get the opportunity to compete for postseason play in March. Well, we are in March, but the NCAA Tournament.

On what it meant to have players come to his house during the suspension

Now that you say that, I could be in tears right now to know I have so much support coming from not just some of the mentors, former coaches, current coaches now, coaches that have coached me on the college level, high school level, friends and family, but knowing that your players that you’re in the trenches with every time, every coach would assume, sometimes your players get tired of hearing your voice, but knowing that my players were so supportive or cared about me or my well-being, that meant everything to me. Having Hunter come by the house and trying to talk, some of the things we shared was very touching.

On whether therapy was part of the suspension

It was a collaboration, that was something I really wanted to do, too, and it wasn’t the first time I’ve done it. Like I said before, this won’t be the last time, either.

On the pandemic being one of the reasons the fight happened

I’m not sure. But I know last year, the first time of experiencing COVID, it’s always been challenging coaching during a couple times like now. This is something new that we all haven’t experienced before, but I think we all have gotten stronger during the process.

On whether he thinks the handshake line should go away

I actually, I like it. It’s also a great example for sportsmanship in sports and I think we should keep it.

On how he teaches his players to battle without crossing lines

Well, you’re diving into competition and our young men, and I’m not just talking about me, but also other coaches that they have had an opportunity to work with before prior to arriving here at the university. The message is always being taught, not just for myself, but also my staff. For a head coach like Phil Martelli, and I still call him a head coach, he’s coached so many years, but also has had so much success but he’s also a great teacher, a great teacher to our players, but also a teacher to young coaches like myself, Howard and Saddi. And we always talk about how it’s important for our guys to be dialed into the competition, keep it between the lines and never take it where it’s personal. Stay engaged into competing on the floor and when the game gets physical, make sure it stays within the rules of the game.

On whether he's given any thought to the NCAA bracket

One game at a time. That’s how I’ve always been wired. My mindset has been preparation for Indiana. But, I was waiting by the television, excited to see where we’d be seeded for the Big Ten Tournament. That was at one point Penn State, at one point it was Maryland, there was a point they were talking about Indiana. I kept gathering all my notes and watching game film of all three teams.

On his conversation with Moussa Diabate and Terrence Williams

Yes, we had a conversation the next day as we all took a breather, calmed down, reflect, and we talked. It was a good conversation. We talked about accountability, we talked about taking ownership, we talked about no excuses, and we talked about learning through this process. I also reached out to my student-athlete's parents as well, called them, and I had some good conversations. But throughout all the conversations I had with my players and their parents, everyone’s been extremely supportive.

On whether other Michigan coaches reached out for support

Yes. Yes, it was great to know that they’re still my friends, not just here at the University of Michigan, but knowing that there are coaches here at Michigan, head coaches, assistant coaches, managers, that have been supportive through the process. They’ve gotten a chance to get to know me, get to know where my heart is, knowing that Coach Harbaugh, Kim, Mike Mina, Shawn—the list goes on. I don’t want to miss anyone. And others I will say, just to keep it simple and safe. We’ve had conversations and text messages back and forth, but there’s nothing like knowing that your Michigan family loves you. And that’s what I got from it, they all love me and I love them, too.

On Phil Martelli saying 'I am not Juwan Howard'

I am not Phil Martelli! But, I was not surprised with the job that Coach Phil, Coach Howard, and Coach Saddi, keep in mind I’m the one that hired them to be a part of my staff, and I took my time when it came to choosing my staff. And one of the things that I’ve touched on early on and I’m not afraid to say at this moment is I had never been a head coach before at the collegiate level. When there’s a weakness in me, I try to find strength to make up for the weakness. And Coach Phil Martelli, not only being the experience he has, but the man, the person. I’m getting chills right now, getting a little choked up talking about him, because I know that he loves me. And I love him.

On Hunter Dickinson's status

Yes, today was his first practice and we’re going to monitor it. Unfortunately, he missed the last two practices, and not feeling well is sad to see for a young man who wanted to play in the Ohio State game. Your health is everything, but it was inspiring to watch his teammates go out there and compete in his absence. And we’ve always had this mantra out here, next man up mentality. They stepped up for Hunter.

On whether Dickinson's ailment has spread to others

Thank God it’s just Hunter, right now. Knock on wood.

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