Quick Hitters: Michigan player survey

For two hours Thursday, players from all 12 Big Ten programs sat at individual tables, answering question after question from reporters from all around the Midwest.
They talked about everything from the upcoming season, to their particular team's hopes and goals, to rivalry games, bowl games, big hits, new targeting rules, the Ed O'Bannon lawsuit and nearly every other topic imaginable.
So, decided to give Michigan's three participants - fifth-year senior offensive tackle Taylor Lewan, redshirt junior quarterback Devin Gardner and fifth-year senior safety Thomas Gordon - a break from the hard-hitting questions.
He conducted a survey, of sorts, about the 2013 Michigan Wolverines. Here are their answers:
Funniest Teammate:
Lewan: "[Fifth-year senior wide receiver] Jeremy Gallon. I'm not going to lie. That guy is funny."
Gardner: "Jeremy Gallon."
Gordon: "Gallon."
Strongest Teammate:
Lewan: "Me."
Gardner: "Taylor Lewan, for sure."
Gordon: "[Fifth-year senior defensive tackle] Quinton Washington."
Fastest Teammate:
Lewan: "That would be either [junior cornerback] Raymon Taylor or [junior cornerback] Delonte Hollowell."
Gardner: "Delonte Hollowell. No - Ray Taylor's got him."
Gordon: "I'm going to say Delonte."
Teammate With the Biggest Appetite:
Lewan: "[Redshirt freshman offensive lineman] Kyle Kalis."
Gardner: "The entire offensive line. They can eat."
Gordon: "Taylor Lewan, for sure."
Teammate With The Smelliest Locker:
Lewan: "[Redshirt freshman offensive lineman] Ben Braden. … I don't have a smelly locker. Tell Devin I don't have a smelly locker."
Gardner: "Taylor Lewan."
Gordon: "Taylor Lewan, again."
Best Dancer On The Team:
Lewan: "I don't know. I can cut a rug pretty hard. I'm more of a two-step kind of guy. We have a lot of guys who can dance pretty well. To throw one out there, I'm going to say, [redshirt sophomore running back] Justice Hayes."
Gardner: "[Fifth-year senior running back] Fitzgerald Toussaint."
Gordon: "Jeremy Gallon."
Teammate With The Most Musical Talent:
Lewan: "[Fifth-year senior wide receiver] Joe Reynolds."
Gardner: "[Redshirt junior punter] Will Hagerup is pretty talented, but it has to go to Joe Reynolds."
Gordon: "Joe Reynolds."
Best Cook On The Team:
Lewan: "[Fifth-year senior offensive lineman] Erik Gunderson."
Gardner: "It used to be Denard Robinson, but I don't know now. Denard could cook everything."
Gordon: "I don't know about any cooking. I'm not going to eat any of their food."
Teammate Who Is Most Likely To Be President:
Lewan: "[Redshirt freshman quarterback] Brian Clearly."
Gardner: "Brian Cleary."
Gordon: "[Fifth-year senior long snapper] Jareth Glanda."
Best Dressed On The Team:
Lewan: "[Redshirt junior outside linebacker] Jake Ryan."
Gardner: "Devin Gardner."
Gordon: "Devin."
Most Likely To Wear Sweatpants To Class:
Lewan: "[Redshirt junior offensive lineman] Kristian Mateus."
Gardner: "Devin Gardner, as well."
Gordon: "Shoot, everybody. The whole team goes to class in sweatpants."
Funniest Assistant Coach:
Lewan: "[Offensive line coach Darrell] Funk. He has never told a joke in his entire life. The man has never told a joke, ever, but he is so funny. He's hilarious. He's so dry - he'll walk into a meeting and say, 'OK guys, couple of things - can't be going to the bars, guys. Can't be doing that. You like going to the bars, Bosch? Can't be doing that.' It's like, What? His delivery cracks me up."
Gardner: "[Michigan running backs coach] Fred Jackson."
Gordon: "[Tight ends and special teams coach] Dan Ferrigno."
Best Trash Talker On The Team:
Lewan: "Jake Ryan is the funniest trash talker of all time."
Gardner: "It's either Taylor Lewan or [senior defensive tackle] Jibreel Black."
Gordon: "Devin Gardner."
Best Video Game Player:
Lewan: "If we're talking Super Smash Brothers, it's me, hands down."
Gardner: "There are a lot of guys who can play really well: [sophomore safety] Jarrod Wilson, [junior defensive end] Frank Clark, Raymon Taylor."
Gordon: "It's probably a battle between [redshirt junior safety] Josh Furman] and [junior running back] Thomas Rawls."
Best Teammate To Go To If You Need Help With Something:
Lewan: "I don't know, man. Who I want to talk to my feelings about? No, I don't want to talk to anyone about my feelings. That's weird.
Gardner: "Jeremy Gallon."
Gordon: "Anyone in the senior class. We're all very close."